Little baby Karna screamed and reached out his arms towards
his mother as she placed the basket he was in into the river. Though he was merely
an infant when he was placed into the river, his mind and body were
growing at a rapid pace. As he grew, the basket and clothes he was wearing grew
with him.
He watched the sun fall and rise up again and the birds fly
overhead softly singing to him as he drifted into the unknown. Suddenly, he felt
a thud and realized he was no longer moving. He sat up in the basket, looked around and realized his basket had washed up on to shore.
"Is this where my mother had intended to send me?" Karna
wondered. Feeling hopeful that it was, he climbed out of the basket and
wandered into the forest before him having suddenly aged into a young man. He was a little clumsy at first learning to walk in his outstretched legs but was quickly able to gain control and proceed to the forest like a regular 7 year old boy.
He wasn’t sure where he was headed or what he was looking
for until he stumbled upon a rock cave covered in moss and leaves. His stomach
was making loud grumbling noises and he was beginning to feel light-headed from
lack of food and water. He had become exhausted from walking and
thought the cave appeared to be a suitable location to rest.
He walked inside the shelter and found a fluffy-looking bed
tucked away in the corner. He looked around to see if anyone was there but concluded
that it was vacant. He walked over to the bed and laid his head on the pillow.
He had never been so comfortable. His eye fluttered shut and he drifted to
sleep in the peaceful home.
His sleep was abruptly interrupted as the ground began to
shake and a thumping sound grew closer and closer. His eyes shot open and he
shuffled into the corner to hide from what was approaching him.
“Who goes there!” roared a deep, angry voice. “I demand you
show yourself!”
“My name is Karna,”
he squeaked, his voice trembling with fear. “I was just looking for a place to
rest,” he explained as he made himself visible to the beast.
“Where do you come from, young man? You must be far from home
as there is not a village for hundreds of miles.”
“I came from the river,” Karna said hesitantly, knowing that
wasn’t the answer he was looking for. “My mother placed me in a basket and sent
me into the river. I floated until I reached the shore just over there and
walked to this cave,” he said gesturing to the direction he had come from.
The air was still and silence lingered as the beast looked
Karna up and down. Karna was unsure how this beast was going to react to what
he had told him or if he would believe his story at all.
“My child,” he said with sincerity in his voice, “I have
prayed for a son and my prayers have been answered. I shall raise you as my
own.”
The beast, who went by the name of Shrek, was cursed with
green skin, enormous size, and an appearance that sent woman and men alike
running away in fear at the sight of him. He had dreamed of having a child of
his own but because of this curse, no woman would even look at him. Having
spent that so many years alone, hiding in his cave and only leaving to retrieve
food and water, he was overjoyed to have someone enter his life.
Karna’s fear had only stemmed from the anger in Shrek’s
voice and not in his appearance. Upon hearing Shrek say he would take him in as
his own, Karna’s fear vanished and a smile spread across his face. Since the
curse, Shrek had never been in the presence of someone who wasn’t scared of
him until he met Karna.
Shrek took Karna into his home and kept his word to raise
him as his own child. Because of the generosity and love Shrek showed to Karna,
the gods lifted the curse they had placed on him and he returned to his normal
form.
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| Shrek Source |
Author's Note: In the Mahabharata, Kunti has a secret son
from Surya, the sun god. Because she is unmarried, she sends this son in a
basket into the river. He was born with celestial earrings and an invulnerable
coat of arms that grew with him as he grew. I began my story using this concept
that Karna’s mother sent him into the river in a basket.
Instead of his earrings and coat of arms I
had the basket he was floating in and the clothes he was wearing grow as he
grew. He then stumbles upon a beast named Shrek who takes him in as his own
son. For this story I attempted to include more dialogue than I usually include
in my stories. The main interaction is between Shrek and Karna when they meet
in the cave.
While the previous additions to my
portfolio have been focused on romantic relationships, I felt this story was a
fitting addition because it tells the story of the beginning of a father-son
relationship. I think this is a new dynamic of a relationship and with this
addition my portfolio now consists of a failing relationship, a thriving
relationship and the budding of a new relationship.
Bibliography:
The Mahabharata: Karmic Revolution, Epified TV (India), 2015-2016
Shrek, Wikipedia, 2001.
The Mahabharata: Karmic Revolution, Epified TV (India), 2015-2016
Shrek, Wikipedia, 2001.
Hi Lindsey, I loved your story! You are such a great writer. I love Shrek and I really like how you tied it back to the Mahabharata story. This was really so creative. I really look forward to reading your future stories!
ReplyDeleteHow fun is this story! You did a great job! I think of Moses being sent in a basket down the river similarly to Kara. Also, I laughed when I got to the part where Shrek was a character. I love incorporating other stories on my own too. How fun and unique. Your story is unique and creative, and I think the dialogue was a nice added touch! GREAT JOB!
ReplyDeleteThis story is great! I like that you mixed it with Shrek as a modern element. When I read the title it made me curious because I was wondering how Shrek would be involved with any stories we read in this class but you did a great job putting it together! It was very creative! I also like that you made the boy grow as he was going down the river.
ReplyDeleteLet me start this off by letting you know that your story is really good. My favorite part was when Shrek tells Karna that he will take care of him. You set it up to where the reader is scared at what will happen to Karna but then it is revealed that Shrek had been praying for a son. I felt a sense of relief whenever Shrek accepted him as his own son. The flow and content of your story are good. There were a few grammatical errors I saw that you would easily catch if you read it slowly. Something I would suggest is trying to step away from starting half of the sentences with he. I know this is a third person story but it seems like you started way too many sentences with He. Maybe split up the sentences and start some with he and some with karna? I myself am not a grammar genius so don't listen to the suggestion unless you receive similar feedback from the teacher. I just remember in comp 1 and 2 the teachers always got mad when I started sentences with the same word a lot. But maybe you can get away with it when it's a third person story.
ReplyDeleteHi, Lindsey! This was a great story! I love how you combined Mahabharata and Shrek. It was an interesting and extremely unexpected twist! Your story was pretty funny, and the plotline played out fairly well. I would definitely agree that there were a lot of “He” sentences, however, and those could be rephrased or replaced with “Karna” instead. But other than this, great job! I can’t wait to read what else you come up with!
ReplyDeleteKarna is my favorite of all the characters we’ve read about so far this semester, and nothing ever seems to work out well for him, so I loved getting to see him have a happy ending in this—a loving parent is just what he needs. I also thought your take on Shrek’s curse was really interesting, and it was clever of you to resolve that in a way that dovetailed nicely with Karna’s resolution (when Shrek was such a great dad and reverted back to his human form). I’m always a sucker for a good father-son dynamic, but I appreciate the relationship even more after reading your author’s note—I love that you decided to write this to mix up the pattern of romantic relationships, and how all the relationships you’ve written so far differ in their dynamics and outcomes.
ReplyDeleteMy only suggestion is that you give a little bit of explanation as to why Karna ages so quickly at the beginning of the story. I get that the story wouldn’t really work if he were still an infant, but I found the rapid growth a little distracting, since that element differed from the Mahabharata and was interesting. Even if it’s something as minor as stemming from the fact that he’s a demigod or that it was a protective spell or something that Kunti placed on him before she ditched him, a little bit of justification for that might be nice. But that’s just a small detail, and I enjoyed what you did here. Nicely done!
Hi!
ReplyDeleteYour story is good. I like that you were descriptive of the surroundings in your story and how Karna felt and the way Shrek looked. I also liked that you gave a moral to your story saying not to judge someone's look on the outside. You saying within your story that some people may seem scary on the outside but on the inside they are not.
I would like to some others about how quick Karna ages. It may be better to expand on that part or at least give your readers a reason why so your story would flow better. I think the quickness of that part allowed for a more confusing story. Maybe you could talk about exactly how far he may have gone? Was his town on the far end of the map or in reality are they a lot closer than it seems? Did he age so fast because he had some mythical power? Also why was his mother sending him away? Some people may read this and not have a previous understanding of what you are trying to say. Was his mom under pressure to give him up? If you expand some on these parts than your story will be solid. Other than that your story was formulated well and you did a good job.
I really like how you twisted your normal star-crossed lovers, "love at first sight," relationship and focused on the birth of a long lasting relationship between father and son. I like how you incorporated dialogue in the story. It eliminated the reader from just scanning a story full of descriptions. I like how you included the character Shrek and an image to accompany it. I feel like this is a character that any 90s child can remember and relate to. I like how you depicted Shrek as a man who was not afraid to break past the stereotypical of men not being child rearing. Shrek assumes the role of the parent even though Karna is not his blood child. I liked how you ended the story with a happy ending. Furthermore, I would like to see how Karna's life ended up upon reaching manhood. I think this is really great work.
ReplyDeleteHaha oh my, this was adorable! I love Shrek, and I enjoyed have you used a classic tale to tell your story! Great work! I think my favorite part of your story was Shrek returned to his normal form at the end. I did wonder a bit about the setting. I feel like you could possibly add in some more description to capture here everything was taking place. I think there were a few things you could change to make it flow better like where the dialogue was placed. I felt a bit lost at some parts because there was imagery and description, and then immediately after there was dialogue. I feel like there could have been better transition. Other than that, I think you did a great job in adding in your own twist, and making this story unique. I look forward to reading the rest of your portfolio!
ReplyDelete